Grocery Aisle Confidential
So you know when you go through a rough breakup, and you come out the other side with a greater understanding of what you need and deserve in your life? Or — more specifically — what you need and deserve from your food life?
Well, since I dumped the Box, I feel like I’m looking at the world through new, wiser, happier eyes. But just because my outlook is renewed, doesn’t mean the world is following suit. A recent trip to the grocery store had me as shocked and appalled as a the good girl from Minnesota when she first watches a reality dating show – do people really put up with shenanigans like these? Doth my wiser, happier eyes deceive me?
Take this food packaging travesty, for instance: shrink-wrapped potatoes. Okay. Let’s think about this for a second. Usually, you shrink-wrap something because you need to keep it clean, right? But potatoes, as we all learned in kindergarten, come from the ground. The ground which is made out of dirt. Who are we protecting, here?
Or what about this: prepackaged corn-on-the-cob. We know that corn comes in a package, right? It’s called a husk! Here, someone has gone to the trouble of removing natural (ahem, compostable) packaging, and replaced it with that styrofoam stuff you wrap around hamburger! Who do these cobs think they’re fooling? I know a corncob from a bratwurst, and these are no brats, my friend.
Turns out, my grocery store is rampant with this sort of thing. I can understand maybe-–maybe–an individually wrapped prune (for those times when your girlfriend is like, “Hey, does anyone have a couple of prunes I could borrow,” and you’re like, “Yeah, I just happen to have one in my purse”)? But bananas? No joke, I actually saw a whole bunch of bananas–peels still on–all wrapped up and suffocating, just like the aforementioned corn.
Why add the extra unwrapping step, is what I want to know; no one likes the unwrapping step! It’s like when you get a toy for Christmas, but you have to spend an extra 20 minutes untwisting the twists, slicing plastic windows and freeing Malibu Stacy from her impossible plastic tomb!
In short: who do these packagers think they’re fooling? Has anyone else seen this? What’s the most innappropriately packaged food, you’ve had the misfortune to encounter?
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